Have you ever bothered to notice the bumper stickers on cars driven by assholes?  Much to my detriment, I tend to remember these things.  For example, in the past year, I can recall some of the rudest and most dangerous drivers encountered merely by virtue of their bumper stickers:

• Bush Lied!
• Obama '08
• Proud to be Meat Free
  
• Fox News:  The More You Watch, The Less You Know
  

I particularly enjoyed this last one.  It was one of no fewer than fifty bumper stickers pasted over every square inch of a Subaru Outback.  Clearly, this woman had a lot to say (or she's clinically A.D.D.).  I couldn't take in the rest, because I was preoccupied with avoiding the tart as she careened through a red light with cell phone in ear.  I don't care where she gets her news; she clearly knows less of driving than the rest of us.  And she'll never know how close her self-righteous noggin came to impaction, but for being saved by the skill and awareness of a moderate conservative.  Life isn't fair.  Maybe one of her bumper stickers says, "Sorry I'm such a stupid fucknob."  I'll never know.

By the end of '08, I had made a game of watching the driving habits of the various bumper stickers.  It became quickly evident that "McCain - Palin" stickers, if fewer in number, were far more likely to yield the left lane to faster traffic (cough!) than were "Obama - Biden" stickers.  What's more, "Obama - Biden" stickers were much more likely to return a middle finger when presented with one.  They were also more likely to call the cops when presented with a half-empty Big Gulp to their windshields.  Assholes.

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